TWO THOUGHTS ABOUT LOVE
To be completely honest I feel like I know nothing about love. I’d say I’m in constant trial and error, learning new things everyday as I encounter different relationships. Within this trial and error I was recently reflecting and I had two very un-related (but to me, significant) thoughts about love so I’m going to leave them here:
THOUGHT NUMBER 1: CHOOSING TO LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY
A few weeks ago I was chatting with a friend about unconditional love. I don’t know all the details and definitions of this type of love and I think people’s interpretation of it will always vary… But my understanding is that God’s love is unconditional and it’s impossible to measure up to that love as an imperfect person in an imperfect world. My friend and I were talking about this and the struggles that can arise in relationships (friendships, families, co-workers, etc.) because of it. At the end of the day, the love I give will never be perfect - there are often things like hurt or comparison or bitterness that interfere with my overflow of unconditional love.
Whilst chatting about this with my friend I suddenly felt challenged… I thought to myself: Do I ever try to love unconditionally? The answer was no. I so often just let life blow by without pursuing to love like God - or praying to have my heart become more like His. Since that moment I’ve felt really convicted about being intentional in how I give love to others and catching myself when I fall into negative patterns. I’ll still never be perfect… But I strive more and more to be like Him every day.
THOUGHT NUMBER 2: WHAT SHAPES THE WAY WE PERCEIVE LOVE?
I touched on this a bit in my Valentines Q&A video but I thought I’d explain a bit more here… A little while ago I was reflecting on my relationship with my boyfriend and I realised that the way I perceived love was significantly impacted by the relationships and influences that were around me growing up. My parents relationship, family friends and movies played a big part in shaping my understanding of what love looks like. Because of movies and TV shows in particular, I grew up thinking that love was dramatic and fiery and filled with massive fights and emotional make ups. This understanding of love lead to me feeling like people weren’t ‘in love’ if there wasn’t any drama - which is really unhealthy to be feeling in a relationship.
Since reflecting and recognising the influences that have shaped my understanding of love I’ve been able to intentionally work on re-wiring my brain. I can align my understanding of love with what God says and the things I know to be true. I think it’s a really interesting and maybe impactful question to ask yourself… What do I perceive as love? And what has shaped this?