FOR HATERS OF GROWING UP
I do not like growing up. The song Forever Young played the other day and I could’ve cried. I’m not even exaggerating. Lately I’ve found getting older to be scary and overwhelming and filled with change (which I do not like). I’d been putting off writing this because I wanted to say something inspiring and valuable and uplifting and I’ve found it hard to write anything like that. In the past year I’ve had to grow up a lot. More than I thought I’d have to and more than I wanted to. I’m learning to find joy in it all - and it’s still hard - but two thoughts came to me whilst writing this which brought me a sense of peace in the thick of all my feelings…
FINDING PURPOSE IN THE PRESENT
I tend to romanticise the past - so much so that I’ve pretty much memorised where things are in my camera roll that dates back nearly 10 years. Something I’m learning is to find purpose in the present - wherever that is. I’m 21, so lately I’ve been asking myself, how can I live 21 to its fullest? That will look different to 14, 17… maybe even 20. And it will look completely different for different people… But choosing to step back and find joy and purpose in the NOW helps to recenter my thoughts.
I think a beautiful purpose in growing up is coming alongside younger people. I don’t remember where I heard this, but someone once said about community… ‘you need someone ahead of you to learn from, people beside you to do life with and someone behind you to encourage.’ (Something like that). Someone ahead (a mentor), someone beside (friendships), someone behind (younger generation). I’d never really thought about the behind part of it until recently. I have a younger sister who doesn’t think I’m cool but I’ve convinced myself she’s pretending. Growing up feels so much more purpose-filled and valuable and exciting when I think about how I can come alongside her and encourage and use my stories of growing up to bring comfort when she needs it one day. Her someone ahead, my someone behind.
GOD REMAINS CONSTANT in the midst of change
I’m learning that no matter how much change I walk through and how much it feels like nothing is steadfast, there’s someone who IS and that’s God. I have a habit of neglecting God when I need Him the most and forgetting the rest and peace and security that I find in Him. I seek things that are fleeting… people that are fleeting - in the scheme of life, even family and friends can be become momentary. As I grow up, I see more and more that the only relationship that is truly eternal is that with God. A relationship with Him is also the only relationship that is truly, perfectly constant. I feel like the idea of that can feel lonely… until you’re close with Him. And then you realise that it really is all you need. Even writing this, I feel far and the thought does make me feel lonely… But I know He hasn’t moved and I know His arms are open, unchangingly, as they always have been.